Thinkings...

Recently, as always, I have been thinking, planning, dreaming, wondering, worrying, anticipating...considering my future.

I have plans, big plans, sensible plans, silly plans, dangerous plans, pland to make a difference in others, plans to make a idfference in me. These are MY plans.

This does not mean, however, that they are God's plans. At the end of the day, unless they match up with God's pland, then they are irrelevent.

This is something that has been challenging me. I like my plans. I feel safe with my plans. I fear that if I sacrifice my dreams and plans to God that I will lose happiness. I fear insignificance, a wasted life. I know that God gives us desires and I know that God has got plans. I know God wired me with my passions, my desires and my longings for a reason. I know God sets us apart. And I know that I am created "for such a time as this".

All of this knowing, however, does not make it any easier. I, once again, am at that place where I have to sacrifice. Its a hard word, its a hard action.

But I desire to be, first and foremost, a worshiper of Christ. I choose to surrender.